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Turn Cures into Cash!

The world of Theme Hospital is home to dozens of goofy, fictional diseases. Some humans are afflicted with Bloaty Head, causing their noggins to triple in size; others suffer from King Complex, a psychological disorder that infects its victims with the irresistible desire to impersonate Elvis Presley. All of these sick people need help – that’s where you come in.

Theme Hospital tasks you with designing, maintaining, and managing a hi-tech hospital as you service hundreds of ailing patients in an attempt to turn cures into cash. You’ll need to be quick on your feet in order to keep your staff happy and patients healthy. Fail, and your business will collapse. It’s time to find out if you’ve got what it takes to balance the books and the bedpans.

Design and build a hi-tech hospital. Every stage begins with an empty hospital, leaving it to you to plan out and create a facility to deal with the impending crisis. How many rooms should you dedicate to better your facilities? What about diagnosis and treatment operations? Your strategic decisions will mean the difference between success and failure.

Treat patients suffering from humorous afflictions. In real life, disease isn’t a laughing matter. In Theme Hosptial, it’s hilarious. You’ll have to cure sick patients afflicted by dozens of wacky problems, ranging from Hairyitis, a smell-enhancing condition caused by prolonged exposure to the moon, to Spare Ribs, an oddball illness that, as its name suggests, causes those infected to grow additional ribs.

Hire staff members and keep them happy. While a hospital’s purpose is to heal the sick, you’ll need a staff of doctors, nurses, receptionists, and handymen to keep it running in tip-top shape. But just like the sick patients they service, your staff has their own wants and needs (often in the form of better pay), so you’ll have to do your best to keep them happy if you want to keep them on board.

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